Wayne Weekly: “Batter Up!”

Written by on August 17, 2015

The other day my wife and I were unpleasantly surprised (can I say horrified?) to find a bat-gone-crazy flying around our living room. I will have to tell you that that I don’t like bats much, and one in the same room with me reduced my he-manhood momentarily by around 60%, a conservative figure I hate to say.

Evie and I hit the deck. You know how those vampire bat stories come to the top when the air born rodent seems to dive bomb your head. And what about rabies? My wife looked to me to be her knight in shining armor ready to charge into any situation. I could not let her down.

As the pre-historic monstrous creature with the terrifying flight plan circled madly around the room, I grabbed my arsenal… a towel.

Hoping to knock the little dive bomber to the ground, stunning him so I could scoop him up and throw him out the now opened door was my battle plan. But to strike him in flight…wow bats move fast!

Just as I was planning my trajectory, THUD, the invader was blindsided with the rotating blades of our ceiling fan. It was propelled, stunned, across the room and onto the floor. With towel in hand, I rushed to the scene, threw the towel over the mammal, scooped it up and catapulted the towel and bat out the front door and onto the lawn. My next move was equally as fast, I shut the door.

It was over. Victory was won. The fearful became the fearless warrior to my damsel in distress, Evie.

But was the war over? Was this just one battle won?  Check Wayne Weekly out next week…”same bat time, same bat channel”.

“Thou shallt not be afraid for the terror by night, nor for the arrow that flieth by day, nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness, nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday,” Psalm 91:5, 6

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