When I think of my deployment to Iraq there is one crucial moment that sticks out to me that not only made me see life differently but it made me appreciate life in general. This moment was a night not much different than any other night at first. I was off duty in my bed with my weapon lying next to me as I always had done trying to sleep while hearing the sounds of small weapons activity in the distance.
The difference this night was that it got closer and closer. Then from out of nowhere a huge boom and the metal box structure that I called home shook as if an earthquake was happening. I had heard mortars hit on our FOB before but this one seemed right out back of my hooch. I proceeded to get up as other people in my area did and took my weapon and flash light out back to find about 50 feet from where I was sleeping was a mortar hole about two meters in diameter and a meter deep.
I went back into my room and proceeded to write a letter to my wife and daughter telling them things that I might never be able to tell them in person because I did not know if I was going to make it home alive and put it in my pocket. I told them if they were reading this that I was dead. I turned on a Sandy Patti tape with the song “It is well with my soul” and played it over and over again all that night as the fighting continued and showed no sign of letting up.
This song help comfort me in knowing that no matter what we go through in life that God is nearer than our closest fear or enemy. I thought of David when he was running for his life from Absalom his son. Psalms 3:1-8 He said that God is a shield for him as he cried out and that he would not even be afraid of 10 thousand soldiers coming after him because the Lord could save him.
I knew if David was being pursued to have his life taken and he could trust God to keep him safe then I needed to and could trust the God who protects his children.
Do you have troubles in your life that are bombarding you to the point you don’t think you can hold on. Are you thinking about maybe taking your life and feel that is the only thing for PTSD because you don’t fit in. Believe me that is not the answer because I have a God that cares for the uncaring. Trust God today to take whatever burden is weighing you down. He wants us to give them to him. He stretched his arms out as wide as he could for you so you could join him in Heaven one day. If this is you please allow him to help you through your trouble whatever it is.